Friday, May 22, 2009

Server Bole To!!!

Karthik: First year was the most hectic year in my engineering academic life. On one side I was about to leave Physics and Chemistry forever and on other side I was about to join the geek world.


Scene:
First year computer practical exam.

Venue:
Computer Lab


Time:
The worst possible time...Around 12 o’clock.





The last day of my first year exams and the biggest mountain is still not conquered - “Computer Practical”. The only thing I learned in last one year is to differentiate between a CPU and a monitor. This is the only true knowledge I have about this subject.

Let me look at the search and sort program again.

Scanf then printf….Oops…printf then scanf… # include iostream.h…#include conio.h…clrscr()

Oh...God...I wish that share folder still exists… I hope the netsend command still works.

God...Help me… main ()…curly brackets open….

Oops !! There he is, the most brilliant student of our class Janeesh K.J , the one who asked doubt to our Mechanical faculty on the first day itself. A tough question “Sir, is it possible to store data on WordStar instead of Access “.

Ghosh!!! What’s WordStar?? What’s Access??
I am going to fail.

He looks too cool. Boy…5 more minutes left... C came after B…now we have C++ and VC++…C was discovered/invented (not sure) by Dennis Richie….

I can hear one of the gal asking Janeesh “What’s ANSI C ?”


Oops...I don’t know even that...Probably discovered by Ancy… so C was discovered by both Dennis and Ancy… might behusband - wife.

Here comes the lab assistant.

“Guys get in!!!”

So at last the time has come. Utmost one more supplementary. Huh!!! Karthik …you have been through these situations now and then … bravo...Come on!!!!

I entered the lab with shaking hands...legs…entire body...


Oh that’s my system!!!! It’s still vacant…my shared drives…. Ha ha ha ..great

“Hey…take this system…sit according to your rollnumber” (In came the voice of lab assistant)

What the…H*%$ is it….?

Hey even this system is far from the faculty’s desk. This is great.

“Now !! turn over the sheet of paper on your desk, you have to complete the task in 3 hours. First write down the algorithm and then start doing the program.”

So...This is it… Come on…let’s see what’s in there….

Write a program to sort N natural numbers in ascending order and then perform search operation.


(PS: Use Bubble sort and binary search).


Nice question the one I have mugged up. Take this Compy – Dompy…

#include iostream.h…#include conio.h..main()….

Its’ over and still plenty of time left. Let me see what others are doing. Oh !! God they all are gone. Was this paper that easy!!

“Karthik are you finished with the work?”

“Yes Mam”

“OK !! show me the output”

“Here it is...” ...Ctrl+F9

“Okay..that looks okay..it could have been better…you should add comments where ever possible…”…bla bla bla..and one more bla….

Oh !!! she is gone….hmmm..she will never get satisfied…anyways..It’s over…

I started going towards the door


Karthik !!! where r u going? Come over here. You still have VIVA left.”

Huh !!! Not again !!!

“Please sit “

“Thank you “

“Okay !! Tell me..What is a computer”

‘A computer is an electronic device…….tttttrrrrrrrrrrppppppp”..

I am the best..I am the best..I am the best.. Yah I am best

“What r macros?”

‘Sorry’

Did she hear me saying I am the best…


“What r libraries”

‘Pardon’

“What are command line arguments?”

‘Don’t know’

“What are inbuilt functions?”

‘Can u please repeat the question……’


Are these questions from Computer Science!!!! Huh !!!


“Okay one last question…Show me where is the serverin our lab”

Hmmm….Server is something big…yah it’s very big….bigger than CPU and monitor…now I have to find where it is….hmmm…

not that…that’s a switch board…not even that...that’s AC….hmmmm…which one is the server…..Oopps…that’s her again…

“Hey !!! Stop revolving in your chair and tell me..Which is the server?”

Hey that looks like a server….

’There it is’.…(pointing hand towards the
UPS, but the faculty thought Karthik was pointing towards the system..kept on the table )

“Good…Why didn’t you tell me earlier if you knew that? Actually no one answered it correctly...Good keep it up”

“Thank you mam..thanks a lot…”

Yahoooo…..last ball..sixer..yipeeee………………….


From then on I never looked back, within hours I became the hero of the class. People started coming to me with their doubts.

I cleared all their doubts. Even that svelte gal came and asked “What’s ANSI C ?”. Till date she thinks Richie and Ancy are husband and wife.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Stop Smoking!!!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I won't Work On WeekEnds !!!!! Ha ha ha

If anyone asks you to work on a weekend...


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Comedy of the year 2009!!!

“Karunaanidhii Fasting

First time in the world history fasting only 4 hours and that too with an AC …….

Fasting starts after breakfast and ending before lunch. Interesting one!!

IPL Match @1009

































































Monday, May 11, 2009

YOU CAN'T WIN WITH WOMEN!!!

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument andneither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'



W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'



CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.' The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!'




The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some
problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.



God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Difference Between Old and Youth Generation !!!

Software engineer and his wife!!!

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.


Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.


Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.


Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.


Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.


Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.


Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.


Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.


Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.


Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.


Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.


Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.


Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.


Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.


Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer


Saturday, May 2, 2009

TECHNOLOGY CARTOONS!!!