Smile Please Carefully...........

• Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti
  hain?
  Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!
  
  
  
  * Ek Church k gate pe likha tha: Jo paap kar k thak gaye wo meri
  sharan me aaye.
  Ek callgirl ne niche apna mob no likh diya: Jo nahi thake wo meri sharan
  me aaye.
  
  
  
  * Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several
  women happy!
  
  
  
  * Teacher class mein apne baby ko doodh pilate hue boli: Ale ale mela
  beta dudh p k doctor banega.
  Santa: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do hum compounder hi ban jaayenge.
  
  
  
  * How do u identify a true music lover?
  A man when he hears a woman singing in the bathroom and puts his ear to
  the keyhole instead of his eye!
  
  
  
  * Buffalo par baithe ek jaat koTRAFFIC police ne rok k puchha: Aap ka
  helmet kahan hai? Fine lagega.
  Jaat: Re baawale, dhayan se dekh Neeche, 4 wheeler hai !
  
  
  
  * Aunty, mummy ne chini mangi hai.
  Aunty: Aacha aur kia kaha mummy nay?
  Kid: Agar woh kamini na de, to Pinki aunty se lay aana.
  
  
  
  * Height of Kanjusi: Looking for a second Hand Tata Nano
  Car.......preferabl y with Gas Kit!!!
  
  
  * Grammar Teacher: Rahul sharaab Nahin Peeta Hai. Is sentence mein
  Rahul kya hai?
  Pappu: Madam! Rahul chutiya hai...
  
  
  
  * What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to
  win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
  Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
  
  
  
  * Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki main Raat nu aunga, ghar aaya
  te kisi hor de nal suti si.
  Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa, jede time nal sms nahi bhejde!
  
  
  
  * 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a
  logical statement that 90% of accidentsarer due to driving without
  drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke
  
  
  
  * Banta: How do you say Topless in Urdu?
  Santa: KHULE AAM...
  
  
  
  * There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job,
  Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right.
  
  
  * Young Malkin & Pappu Naukar were kidnapped & raped by robbers.
  Malik to Naukar: Shakal Dekhi thi un logon ki?
  Pappu Naukar: Bibi ji se pucho mujhe to ulta litaya hua tha!
  
  
  
  * Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha, asmaan me taro ka nazara tha,
  Bihari premi ne pyar se muskarate hue Biharan premika se kaha: Ae Susma,
  Bidi Piyegi ?
  
  
  
  * A cute Nurse came 4 the interview..
  Dr: What salary U Xpect?
  Nurse: Rs.10,000.
  Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
  Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000
  
  
  
  * When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears
  flows from your eyes always say these words... Eh Ganpat, chal daru
  la...
  
  
  
  * Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND ho.
  Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj
  Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.
  
  
  
  * Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper
  Ultra.
  BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!
  
  
  
  * In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas
  a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36
  
  
  
  * Ladke wale ladki ka haath kab mangte hai????????? ??
  
  JAB LADKE KA HAATH THAK JATA HAI......... ......
  
  
  
  * Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na
  maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.
  
  
  
  * Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
  Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!
  
  
  
  * An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne
  inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
  Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.
  
  
  
  * Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich
  and wear expensive branded clothes, when most beautiful things in life
  we do naked.
  
  
  
  * Teacher to class: A for?
  Class: Apple
  Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
  Class: Jai Mata Di
  
  
  
  * Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi
  Hon, Sabko MUMBAI bhej do
  
  
  
  * Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
  Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
  Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?
  
  
  
  * Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka
  to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6"
  ka hi hota hai.
  
  
  
  * In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r Nitrates
  Gal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.
  
  
  
  * Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and
  touch her anywhere she likes?
  A: Lifebuoy.
  
  
  
  * A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around
  ur knee..?
  Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

Contd........Amar....